A while back, I was with a homeschooling mom, practicing a missions presentation that I was going to give in church, and I used the word "dang" in the script. Her eyes widened and you could tell she wanted to cover her kids' ears.

"You can't use that word in church," she whispered.

"What word? 'Dang?'" I asked.

She blanched. "Yes, that word. It's another word for d-a-m-n. Some people will be offended."

"Oh, I didn't know that," I said, genuinely embarrassed that I'd unknowingly been using a curse word. We'd just spent a week on a mission trip with some southerners. They used the word in every other sentence and no one seemed to even notice. I thought it was a nifty word to throw into conversation, seeing as how I couldn't find too many opportunities to use "fixin'" or "reckon."

Then I thought about it for second or two. "So," I asked my friend, "can I use 'darn'? How about 'shoot'?'"

"Of course," she said. I smiled, there was a pause. And then she got it. "OK, I see what you're saying."

I understand that cursing is offensive and that it's important to not pollute the universe with vulgar language. But deciding when you've crossed the line can be tough.

My friend Flow was telling me about the curse word jar at work, where coworkers are required to pay a fine when they use a word from the agreed upon list. Some mild oaths warrant a 50 cent fine. The eff-word rates a whole buck. Flow said they had a long discussion about which words to include because some folks were offended by "darn" and others uttered the eff-word without a thought.

I think there are a lot of words that I would like to banish from everyday usage that probably don't qualify as curses. Like the word "diddle." A camera store here in town urges customers to "stop diddling around" and go buy a digital camera. By definition the word means to cheat, swindle or waste time. (I'm pretty sure they mean the latter.) But for some reason the word makes me queasy. It seems so ... unseemly.

Speaking of queasy, why do people use the phrase, "blow chunks?" That's so gross. And yet I'll bet no one has to pay $1 to the curse jar for that phrase.

And how about "fart?" Why do people get their knickers in a twist over "fart?" I think "gas" is probably more graphic. And "fluff?" Who are you kidding?

I once got an email from a reader who was upset because I used the word "whorehouse" in a column, describing a reality television show that followed the day-to-day workings of a real brothel in Nevada. The writer said as a Christian I should be ashamed to use that kind of language. No complaints about the fact that real prostitutes were being shown at work on television. Just that I used the word in a column that ran in a family newspaper - and next to the high school sports section, at that.

Ironically, the same day I received the reader feedback Paul Harvey used the word "whorehouse" in a radio commentary. Dang, if I'm offensive at least I'm in good company.

(c)Joanne Brokaw all rights reserved

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