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I'm writing because:
I have a headstone or cemetery story I want you to look into.
I have a question about dogs, dog behavior, or dog training.
I have a question about writing.
You made me laugh and I thought you should know.
I have a complaint about something stupid you did or said.
I'm not even writing to you. I want to talk to Bandit.
I want to send you a press release or information about my product/book/movie/etc. (I'll save you the trouble: PLEASE, I'm begging you, don't put me on media lists or send me press releases.)